Pondering on life
So much to learn
Feel like I a first time mom
and not already a mom to 4
soon to be 5.
So much to learn
Feel like I a first time mom
and not already a mom to 4
soon to be 5.
Dave and I are taking adoption classes on line right now. Our homestudy agency waived it for us because they have known us for 9 years and we do a lot with our homestudy agency and gone to meetings and so forth. Madison asked us if we would be willing to take some classes since we didn't have the certificates from all the things we have done (didn't think we were going to be adopting again for a long time and didn't feel we needed to get certificates). We were willing as we want to learn as much as what we can.
One of the classes I took was called conspicuous families. I never knew that what our family was called. conspicuous means that you can tell we are an adoptive family because the children don't look like us. In this class, it talked about the different ways we view race and making us color aware. It did make me more color aware. I did learn more about how I view my surroundings, the people I associate with. It also taught me some ways how to answer people that are asking about our "conspicuous" family. A lot of the statements I already knew how to answer because I have been doing it for 7 years, but learned some new ones too. The word "conspicuous" I not to wild about that word. To me it makes it sound like it is foreign, a mumble jumble word, sounds negative. I know it not, and I know it isn't a bad label, it just a word that describes our family, but I don't care for it. I think I will stay with adoptive family. It also brought up something that made me think about my girls and relationships with boys. Things I will have to think about.
As I posted previously about a particular yahoo group that is having some very good discussions about adopting children, wanting to disrupt and not disrupting. So much sound advice. There is even talk about making a forum for people who are in the "crisis", steps or people they can call that have been there and work through it. They talk about knowing what your breaking point is and how you handle things. Many people have written about having a "safety Kit" in China. We all prepare medically for everything we can think of...like medicine, bandaids, insurance, and so forth. They are saying no matter what age your child is that you are adopting, you should have a safety kit that includes names and phone numbers of people you can contact, for example a doctor that specializes in whatever the sn is, social workers, and then phone numbers of people that have been there and done it before. So if you have a child that is angry, grieving hard, hurt themselves or you, and so forth you can call them. I never thought of this, Our 2 previous adoptions were easy in China, we have grieving, but not for long and they were infants/toddlers so it was easier to hold and soothe them. Erin is 13, she won't be easy to hold and soothe her that way. It also talking about knowing your breaking point and what to do with it when you reach it. People are using things like when someone close to you dies, how do you react, were you able to function or did you need someone to take over, and so forth. Gives you a lot to ponder. I feel I am a person that does pretty well in a crisis situation, but I am very open minded to everyone's comments and now have many more things to take in consideration. Another thing that was mention with this safety kit for China....is before leaving for China, have all your things in check at home to, like psychologist that deals with your child age and attachments/IA and so forth, to know where there are local treatment centers and so forth. Many of stress they never had to worry about it once they got home, some say they had more peace having all these contacts/numbers so if they were in a crisis they had the information and wouldn't make haste decisions. I am so thankful that I found this group and learning about all this valuable information, as I feel it will help Erin and all of us to make the transition as smoothly as possible. We pray that Erin will adjust well, but if she and us need help or suggestion I am grateful to have connections. So now it time to make my safety kit for China and for when we get home and hopefully we won't need it, but it will be there in case we do.
We are still waiting to hear from the grants organizations, some of them let us know that we will be presented the last week in July and the beginning of August. We continue to pray and be hopeful that we will get some grants to help pay the rest of the fees. We still are a long ways away but believe it will all fall in place. My MIL just had a garage sale and allow us to put some of our stuff in it. We made another couple hundred dollars, so that was nice. This was the easiest garage sale for us as everything was marked and it was an a lot smaller sale then we have had previously.
Jade and Dave saw a ladybug on Sunday. So far every time we see a ladybug we have had good news within a day or two. I was thinking maybe our article 5 got picked up on Monday instead of this coming Thursday. That didn't happen.....So I sit and wonder what the "news" will be. It just dawned on me just now, that we got an email from the courier Monday night saying our visas are on their way back to us. So that is the "news" from the ladybug, one more step closer to Erin. Like I have said, Jesus knows how to show little (and big too) glimmers of news, it may not always be what you are expecting or looking for, but if you stop and think, you will figure it out. Thank you Lord.
One of the classes I took was called conspicuous families. I never knew that what our family was called. conspicuous means that you can tell we are an adoptive family because the children don't look like us. In this class, it talked about the different ways we view race and making us color aware. It did make me more color aware. I did learn more about how I view my surroundings, the people I associate with. It also taught me some ways how to answer people that are asking about our "conspicuous" family. A lot of the statements I already knew how to answer because I have been doing it for 7 years, but learned some new ones too. The word "conspicuous" I not to wild about that word. To me it makes it sound like it is foreign, a mumble jumble word, sounds negative. I know it not, and I know it isn't a bad label, it just a word that describes our family, but I don't care for it. I think I will stay with adoptive family. It also brought up something that made me think about my girls and relationships with boys. Things I will have to think about.
As I posted previously about a particular yahoo group that is having some very good discussions about adopting children, wanting to disrupt and not disrupting. So much sound advice. There is even talk about making a forum for people who are in the "crisis", steps or people they can call that have been there and work through it. They talk about knowing what your breaking point is and how you handle things. Many people have written about having a "safety Kit" in China. We all prepare medically for everything we can think of...like medicine, bandaids, insurance, and so forth. They are saying no matter what age your child is that you are adopting, you should have a safety kit that includes names and phone numbers of people you can contact, for example a doctor that specializes in whatever the sn is, social workers, and then phone numbers of people that have been there and done it before. So if you have a child that is angry, grieving hard, hurt themselves or you, and so forth you can call them. I never thought of this, Our 2 previous adoptions were easy in China, we have grieving, but not for long and they were infants/toddlers so it was easier to hold and soothe them. Erin is 13, she won't be easy to hold and soothe her that way. It also talking about knowing your breaking point and what to do with it when you reach it. People are using things like when someone close to you dies, how do you react, were you able to function or did you need someone to take over, and so forth. Gives you a lot to ponder. I feel I am a person that does pretty well in a crisis situation, but I am very open minded to everyone's comments and now have many more things to take in consideration. Another thing that was mention with this safety kit for China....is before leaving for China, have all your things in check at home to, like psychologist that deals with your child age and attachments/IA and so forth, to know where there are local treatment centers and so forth. Many of stress they never had to worry about it once they got home, some say they had more peace having all these contacts/numbers so if they were in a crisis they had the information and wouldn't make haste decisions. I am so thankful that I found this group and learning about all this valuable information, as I feel it will help Erin and all of us to make the transition as smoothly as possible. We pray that Erin will adjust well, but if she and us need help or suggestion I am grateful to have connections. So now it time to make my safety kit for China and for when we get home and hopefully we won't need it, but it will be there in case we do.
We are still waiting to hear from the grants organizations, some of them let us know that we will be presented the last week in July and the beginning of August. We continue to pray and be hopeful that we will get some grants to help pay the rest of the fees. We still are a long ways away but believe it will all fall in place. My MIL just had a garage sale and allow us to put some of our stuff in it. We made another couple hundred dollars, so that was nice. This was the easiest garage sale for us as everything was marked and it was an a lot smaller sale then we have had previously.
Jade and Dave saw a ladybug on Sunday. So far every time we see a ladybug we have had good news within a day or two. I was thinking maybe our article 5 got picked up on Monday instead of this coming Thursday. That didn't happen.....So I sit and wonder what the "news" will be. It just dawned on me just now, that we got an email from the courier Monday night saying our visas are on their way back to us. So that is the "news" from the ladybug, one more step closer to Erin. Like I have said, Jesus knows how to show little (and big too) glimmers of news, it may not always be what you are expecting or looking for, but if you stop and think, you will figure it out. Thank you Lord.
Love you Sue! You are a smart woman, excellent mother, and super human being.
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