One Decade ago

One Decade

One Decade ago  (May 25, 2003) after flying 1/2 way across the world, we arrived at the Dolton hotel in Changsha, the capital of Hunan Providence. It was arranged that we will get our children around 2 PM but ended up getting them at 4P (because the driver got lost) on the 8th floor conference room of the hotel. There was 6 moms, 3 dads, and the Chinese liaison Tu who has been nicknamed “our miracle worker”, impatiently waiting for our daughters to arrive. At the same time in another part of China two couples (part of our group) were anxiously waiting in a room for their newest addition to their family. One family was getting a son and the other family was getting a daughter. In Minnesota 2 dads and in Wisconsin another dad along with the siblings were waiting to hear news about their newest addition to the family. These 8 families have all traveled many different roads and avenue to be united together for the same reason, a child. Not only did we become a family of 3, but we also got an extended family that includes 8 families. We all lived with 1/2 hour of each other except for one family that lived 3 hours away. All of us were so anxious to get our daughters and son, and possibly more anxious due to the circumstances of our girls and boy. We originally weren't suppose to get our children until June 5, but with the SARS outbreak, it was decided that the Chinese were shutting down adoptions until things got better with the SARS on June 1. We received this news on May 17. With one of the dad's (Joe), he wouldn't take no for an answer. We had an emergency meeting at Crossroads (our agency) Saturday the 18th of May, we all voted that we could leave now and get our children. Crossroad said they would call our china liaison (Auntie Tu) and see what she can do. Monday the 20th of May as we were driving back to MN from KS (we went to see a graduation of someone who was like a daughter to us), we were in Iowa when the phone call came saying Tu worked her magic and we were able to get our children on the 25th. We were leaving on the 24th. Talk about moving fast to get Visa expedited, changing flights information. The flights were cheap thou, since barely anyone traveling.

In Changsha it was very hot and humid. There was a thick coat of smog in the air. The sound and smells are unfamiliar. Outside of the Dolton hotel there was a lot of construction and very crowded. We are all tired from the long flights the past two days and lack of sleep, but excited as our lives will forever be changed. We arrived at our hotel around noon and told that we would be getting our daughters at 4. Tu took us for a little walk to the local store to buy the formula that our daughters were use to drinking and gave us a little time to refresher ourselves before the big event. We met in the small conference room at 3 to go over the rest of the paperwork. SARS weighed heavily on our minds as we were the last group in before China closed adoptions due to SARS. We had been getting temperatures taken every time we had landed or enter certain area and filling out paperwork related to SARS at every stop, wondering if our children are sick or healthy, been exposed to SARS, scared because they don’t understand what is happening to them.

It is now a few minutes before 4, paperwork is completed and we are looking out the window to see if we can get a glimpse of our daughters, pacing in the conference room and making small talk with one another. We hear the elevator door ding and all focus toward the hallway, no children step off. Tu calls the director of the orphanage, and we are informed they are running a little late, but will be there soon, she tells us the babies are crying in the background. The oldest babies are a year old and the youngest is 9 months old. The anticipation builds up, the elevator dings again, the door opens, we hear babies and everyone is on their feet and trying to get a glimpse of their child. The director is holding our daughter. One mom started running into the hallway and was called back. She was the first one to receive her daughter. Monika was the third child brought into the conference room. Dave was the first to hold her as an early father's day present. She didn't cry for long but did have silent tears for a while. She was 4 days shy of 10 months, she had very rosy checks and even though it was over 100 degrees with very high humid, she and 3 other girls were in identical sweat outfits, she had a white long sleeve shirt and pants with animal prints outfit on, she was sweating her hair was spiked every which way and the minute she was placed into Dave’s arms she started to cry along with me who was trying to video tape it and take pictures at the same time. Dave hands Monika to me and another round of crying starts, she looks at me with those big brown almond eyes, her eyebrow furrow questioning who I am, as I am saying to her I am your mom. Being a mom for the first time, certain instinct just kick in, cradling her and comforting her, talking to her and trying to sooth her, she calms down and is holding on me tightly and looking around. We bring her to our room and gave her a bottle and fed her some baby fruit, she is now calm, her eyes are full of sadness as we wonder what she is feeling. We take her clothes off, put her in the bathroom sink to give her 1st bath. She wasn’t to sure of it as her lip starts to quiver, a little bit of splashing and smiles from mom and dad, she becomes brave and tries to splash, startle herself with the water and seeing us laugh she did it again, there we heard a little laugh and a very slight smile. Time to put her to bed, I sing to her a song that I made up “sweet dream Monika, whoa eye knee (Pronunciation of I love you in Chinese) Monika YaTao, she fell asleep fairly quickly. As Dave and I watch her lay asleep so peacefully we are forever a family now. As one father said when the children were brought of the elevator “This is what it all about”, the years of trying to conceive biologically, the two failed domestic adoptions, the mounds of paperwork and 22 months after we started the process of adoption oversea, has come to a complete circle as we now have a daughter and I have the best job in the world, a mom. That day in the conference room, not only did we get a daughter, but we got a family which is now called Monika’s “sorority sister and company” that consists of the travel group. In the movie “Hotel for Dogs” at the end the movie the social worker is talking about the young kids that took in stray dogs and love them and states that they are family. Family means the world to me, even though it is important and special how you become a family, it is even more important that you belong, that you count on them thru everything and be loved. I am also thankful to God who guided us through everything even when we didn’t understand what he was telling us or why, I believe there is always a reason for things to happen, you may not know at the time, but will find it some day. So as we celebrate May 25 as our day we got Monika, we also celebrate my dad’s and Dave’s brother birthday, that day 10 years ago we gave them a great birthday present. Their newest family member. It also my good friend Jean’s birthday, she is a remarkable person. She is now a mom 16 children with 2 more waiting to be united with their forever family. 

Me holding Monika for the first time.  

Dave holding Monika for the first time

Her first night with us.

 Monika sitting on Grandpa's Al lap as we sign Happy Birthday to him.  Katie had the honors of writing on the cake.

 Cassie teaching Monika the Magic Card game

 Koudai having fun with Monika

 Erin and Monika taking pictures with each other

 Koudai going to dunk Monika into the lake

 Monika (along with her two younger sisters) got to drive the go kart for the first time.  She said it was hard to handle the steering wheel.  Cassie was honor to be the first to be driven by Monika

 Monika decided that it would be more fun being the passenger instead of the driver.

 Erin and Monika cruising around the woods 

Monika with her new outfit.  You can't tell very well in this picture, but the shoes she has on are the high heal tennis shoes.  She loves them and wants to keep them on all the time.  A child that doesn't like shoes and rather be barefoot is keeping the shoes on.  The best part is I got them for 70% off so they were fairly cheap.

Up until recently I always used "Gotcha Day" for the girls.  I have heard many opinion whether it should be "Gotcha Day" or "Family Day", as I have heard both sides I stayed with Gotcha day because that is how I learned it when we adopted.  As I am getting order (and perhaps wiser), I am starting to use the term Family day over Gotcha Day.  My girls still like the Gotcha day and doesn't view it has an stigma word as some people had made it to be.  I let them refer to their special day as the way they want to, whether it is Gotcha or Family day.

Happy Decade Family day to Monika Sorority sisters and brother,  Halli, Sara, Macy, Kelly, Laura Dawn, Becky and Thomas.