Making one of the big milestones.

Many times I have written about things you take for granted

until it can't be taken for granted.

Erin has taught us that.

Take nothing for granted.

She has overcome many things,

She has had many milestones

And when those milestones get achieved, 

We celebrate.

 She has been doing so much better with her dad.  She been staying at his place, sometimes without her sisters since April.
She has been patience with him with learning sign language.  She been telling him things that he really doesn't want to know (girl stuff), but listens to her, because she is bonding with him.
She dragged him to girls stores, clothes store, and he goes in with her because he is trying to bond with her.
A few weeks ago, she asked him to dye her hair.  She now has a brownish color hair.  She also ask him to do her hair, which she is very capable doing herself.  She will ask me to do it sometimes too, I think she is learning how good it feels when parents do some of the basic needs.
I have said, that she is preparing him to have a more understanding relationship with the 3 younger girls as they grow up.  Dave has 2 brothers and no sisters, so he wasn't expose to the girly girl stuff and had a hard time hearing about any of that stuff.  When you have 5 daughters, you need to get use to it.  God picked a great way to teach Dave.  Erin has no problems telling him stuff like that now.  What a milestone that is too.

On Friday the 21st, Dave after 2 years, got his first real hug from Erin.  They went to a Chinese store (one they have gone many times before), and he let her get some candy she wanted, she got excited and hugged him and saying Thank you.  He was so shocked and unprepared for that.  Whenever he is leaving he will open his arms out to give her a hug and she always said no to him.  IT was hard for him to see her hugging me all the time.  I just kept saying be patience, which we have had to do so much with her.  Those milestones mean so much.  And now he finally got his hug.

It has been spoken so many time how God always knows the plans and he gives us choices and the choice we pick determines what happens.  Sometimes we make the wrong choices and sometimes we make confusing choices and other times we make the right choices.  I have spoken about how the first 3 months after we came home with Erin was horrible, she was horrible.  I know it was because of her fears she had, the feeling of being lost, being in a new country, feeling alone even when we tried to reassure her she wasn't alone, the mistrust.  That she was in survival mode of I am going to hurt you before you can hurt me.  She was very destructive, she was very mean and hurtful.  I never knew what to expect when she arrived home from school, some days I had to neglect the other girls as I had to focus all my attention on her, whether it was to keep her safe, to trying to show her we loved her, to reason with her, to be firm and let her know that she can't do this without consequences.  Many times I reached out to others and God.  That is what helped me survive.  Knowing that her behavior was justifiable even when I didn't like, I prayed that she and us would be fortunate to be able to overcome these challenges. After 3 months I could start seeing the light at the end of a very very long tunnel.  It was there, but it was so far away.  As time goes on, she slowly started to see me as a "Mom" and that she is"stuck" with me.  That I loved her no matter what.  She allowed herself to open her heart just a crack to see what would happen.  What she got in return was love and reassurance, which allowed her to open her heart a little more.  She still gets mad at me, but controls it a lot better, instead of destroying things and saying hurtful and mean things she retreats to her room.  She still blames me for not being "clear" enough with my signing when she gets in trouble with something, but I am quick to point out that she knew, because Erin asks questions over and over and I can point that out.  That is her survival mode kicking in.  She tries to sneak things at times, but I know all kids do that.  As I look back these two years, the milestones that Erin has accomplished.  She is now a very loving, sweet, funny, strong, caring teen.  She tries hard to follow the most of the rules, is understanding why things are done the way they are.
I truly believe that God gives you only what you can handle even when you don't believe it.  There were many days I wasn't so sure I could do another day, but I leaned heavy on God and friends, I wasn't afraid to ask for help and was very grateful that I was able to receive help when needed.  Erin has frequently asked me if I am going to adopt again, and I tell her I don't know, I would love to, but right now that won't happen.  If God plan is the same as my plan, then yes I will be adopting.  If God's plan is not for me to adopt again, he will show me that sometime and I will be just as happy being a mom to 5 amazing girls.  Erin asked me if I will adopt a teenager, my first thought is no, my second thought is maybe and then it is yes as I believe God will make sure I would be able to handle it.