Having doubts

We are in a deep freeze with temperatures

at almost record lows.

 Jenny is also is some deep thoughts.

 Christmas night she told me that she doesn't

want any more surgeries for her little ear.

 As we talked it was pretty much concluded that she didn't like

the pain from the surgery

and the scare we had afterwards.

 We discuss the different options she has with the ear.

She also struggles with self esteem/self awareness

partly due to what happen at her old school.

We saw her amazing surgeon last week.

Talked about her concerns.

He listen to what I said

as I was doing most of the talking because Jenny wasn't wanting to.

 While talking with him

she did mention about self conscious about it

and he asked if she has been teased because of her ear.

She mentioned yes.

I asked at the new school,

she said no.

 He continue talking very positive about her surgery and how

excited he is with the way her ear is shaping so fast after the surgery.

He told her that in his experience, kids that have constructive surgery on an area that people can see, usually are stronger adults and are not as focus on the aging factor.

I can relate to that and told her that.

I explain how people kids used to tease me with my scar on my face,

that I couldn't hide it at all,

that she can hid her right now with her hair.

I also said now when I look in the mirror and see my scar,

I think two things.

1.  My plastic surgeon (who was Katie and Jenny's surgeon family friend) did a great job with a huge hole on my check from the dog bite

2. Not only did I get teased about my scar on my cheek but also my hearing lost.  I explained to her I believe it made me to be as strong as what I am now.

I also explained how people don't noticed that Katie ear was little at one point of time and they don't notice that it is slightly different unless they are right by it and really looking at it.

 Jenny didn't have much to say, but you could see her thinking.

Dr W. reassured her that it is normal to be 

scared with the pain, he also told her that the hardest surgery is over with

that now it will be a lot easier.

Jenny returns back to see him in 6 weeks.

We had to postpone her next surgery for 6 months

due to complications.

I have chosen to let Jenny think about it for a couple of weeks before asking her what she thinks about her options.

Tonight before bedtime, I asked if I could look at her ear to make sure everything looked good.  She was ok with it.   I told her that it is looking really good.  That the swelling is going down a lot faster then Katie's did.

She requested for a picture to see it.  I took it and she looked at it.

The picture is a little blurry (that is why not posting it).

We talked about how it looks and the shape of it.

Her sister Monika even said it looked good

which is a huge thing as her and Jenny don't 

see eye to eye on many things.  

I think that made Jenny feel really good.

I pray that Jenny will continue to go thru the rest of the surgeries.  The way her ear is right now, she wouldn't be able to wear and sort of glasses and can't have her ear pierced.

Dave and I have left this surgery up to the girls. 

So what Jenny chooses is what it will be.

I Praise the Lord that Jenny will talk to me about things and that we can discuss options and seek answers out.  I am glad that I have experienced some similarity as she has so I can use them as examples for her to see that she is strong.