"Thank you for keeping me alive"

I was going thru my pictures and realize, I don't take that many anymore.  Part of it I feel has to do with us not out and about as much anymore since we have all the activities and and part of it is because Erin doesn't want her picture taken right now.  She is going through a stage and taking pictures of her is not acceptable for her.

This picture of Monika is an old one, it was taken a couple of months ago rollering skating and I have posted it before.

The past 2 1/2 weeks my body has been battling something physically and I really didn't know it.  My only symptoms were:  the first day of the onset of the symptoms which only lasted for a day, I got the chills, sore throat, and didn't feel right.  It started on a Sunday night  2 1/2 weeks ago.  Monday I didn't feel much better and by Tuesday morning I felt good other then a little bit of a running nose on the left side that was mostly clear with an occassional color in it.  I didn't take anything for it.  For those of you that know me well I have a great immune system and very high pain tolerance.  A week ago Wednesday, I started to have reddish brown nasal drainage and spiked temp.  These temps would come and go and usually wouldn't get higher then 101.8 and they would usually go back down on there own within a couple of hours only when it got up that high did I really feel it on my body otherwise the low grade ones didn't do anything to me and usually didn't know I had one.  Friday as far as I know, I went all day without and thru Saturday until about 10 in the evening, when I felt a little warm and took my temp and it was 100 point something I was feeling good.  I was still having the reddish brown drainage when I blew my nose, but didn't need to blow very often.  Sunday I felt pretty good again.  Monday morning I wake up to black eye on my left side.  No pain or anything, even had a little bit of blood come out of my eye.  Went to work, 1/2 thru the day, started to feel the temp. go up, and decided to go to the doctor, and work didn't want me there until they knew what was going on with me.  Saw the doctor, after all the questions, he figures you must have a sinus infection, but is surprise that I have no pain or pressure or anything.  I never (to my acknowledge) ever had a sinus infection before.  I was actually glad he told me it was that, I have a thunderclap migraine diagnosis that can cause aneurysm, eventhough I had a short lived one (lasted less then an hour which probably wasn't that now) on that Wednesday (the day that I had the brownish red drainage), It didn't feel like it normally does and I haven't had one for a long time.  I was worry that I might have a slow bleed or something going on in my head and that what cause the brusing.  He told me no matter how high of a pain tolerance I have, brains can't not turn off the pain of increase intracranial pressure that would be caused if I was bleeding in the head plus I wouldn't be standing.  He figure it was because my sinus cavities were full.  I got an antibodic, sent home to spend the day of rest.  Call him in the morning (Tuesday) to update him.  So for a change, I took the doctors order and spent the day on the couch on Tuesday and called and updated him.  Not much has changed with the temp or drainage, but that the bruise had spread a little more.  CT Scan was order and had that done.  I was informed this morning that it is a sinus infection and that the doctor is speechless that I don't have any pain at all or anything that I am walking like nothing is wrong.  He said my cavities are so full that there isn't any room left and that is why it caused the black eye, that they are so inflammed that they are bleeding.  He did request for me to come in Friday to check out the eye again and then put me on another antibodic.  Sometimes I guess it not good to have that high of a pain tolerance.  And for the temp.  He feels my immune system was doing it job and was sometimes ahead on the war with the bacteria, and when the bacteria was winning, the temp went up.
Ok...so now that I wrote all about that, what does this have to do with my heading  and the picture of Monika?

Right before my phone call from the doctor.  Monika came up to me, gave me a big hug and said "Thank you for keeping me alive".  All of the kids have been a little worry about me with this eye of my and knowing I went for a CT Scan (my brother had to pick my kids up after school on Tuesday, so they knew something was up).  I said "keeping you alive?  what do you mean Monika?"  She replies "Thank you for keeping me alive" and give me a big squeeze hug.  again I ask her what do you mean, she said "Thank you for adopting me and loving me, that is what keeping me alive."  I said what about dad, he adopted you too and loves you, she said dad not here right now, but dad too.  I said you are welcome and I love you.   I said there are many people that keep you alive and love you, she said, "I know, but you are the one that keeps me alive."  About 5 minutes later, the phone rings and it is the doctor.
Monika has always been wiser in her years.  She of all the kids including Erin has the best understanding of the whole adoption and abandonment.  She has talked very freely of it, she will correct people when they ask some of those questions about adoption and don't ask the right way, she isn't afraid to say her birthparents/mom couldn't keep her, she will say sometimes it due to being a girl, other times she will say it because of her parents being poor or her mom this or that, she will say we don't know why.  She sometimes just surprise people what she says, and this morning she caught me way off guard and as I was worry about my CT Scan and praying it wasn't going to be anything serious, she comes out and said "Thank you for keeping me alive"  I thank Jesus for keeping me alive, to allow me to live life the fullest, to be the best mom I am capable of being to my 5 daughters, to be a great daughter to my parents, to be a great sibling to my brothers and sister, to be the wife I should be, and to be a great friend to everyone.  Life is grand.