13 years is a lot of years to retrain part two

Last week when I took Erin to see the speech therapist. The therapist was asking so many questions about Erin's past and explaining how important it is for people to learn/hear language young. She went on about the younger they are, the better chance they have to learn new language. Currently Erin knows 4 languages and we want to add the 5th on now. I never thought of it that way. I looked at it as Chinese is one language and English is another language. But it is Chinese writing/grammer, Chinese Sign language, American sign language, English writing/grammer and now we are going to try to teach her how to hear and understand what she is hearing and speak it. For me, I know English and Sign Language. Because of her being deaf, she can't do phonics like we can and that is what makes it hard for them.


Erin came to me with 13 years of past. 13 years of learned behaviors and traits. 13 years of survival skills, 13 years of not understanding love, 13 years of a  culture that isn't the same as mine,13 years of being told Jesus is a horrible and doesn't exist, 11 1/2 years of not having mom, dad or a family (was abandon around 18 months old). They say again, the younger you are when you learn and receive nuture, most of the time the better you are as you grow up. She has been physically part of the family for just over 11 months.  She has learned ASL unbeliviable fast (that is what her school and other deaf people say), she has learned how to read (limited, but she can), she is learning how to spell words, she learned how to control her anger and not to be destructive like she was after the honeymoon phase.  She has learned to not be afraid of asking me for help, she has learn that if she doesn't want to do something I want her to do, I won't hit her, but she will still need to do it or have non physical consquences.  Erin has witness the love that is shown between her sisters and myself eventhough she isn't ready for the physical touch or the words 'I Love You".  She knows that I love her.  She is very slowly learning to have patience.  Erin learning that she doesn't have to be forced to play sports and that if she doesn't understand something in school doesn't have to be afraid to ask for help, she won't get hurt.  She has learned that I will help her too.  She has been given encouragement, boost in self esteem, security, love.  Even though we struggle with things still and I get fustrated with her, and require the little glimmer to remind me, she has only been with me less then a year and she has 13 years of a total different life.  She has a mean streak in her, and she has a very sweet, fun side to her to.  The mean streak is mainly a survival mechanism, most of the time she shows it when she is backed into a corner.  Unfortnautely she also shows it to Dave all the time and we are still working on that one.  She is also asking more questions about relationships, trying to understand things between a male and female, she will also bring up snippets about something that she learned at the deaf bible camp, I am so thankful to the Lord as she is starting to opening her eyes to what the last 11 months have been given to her.  Talking about learned behavior, she has learned in China that she doesn't need to say "hi" or "bye" and when people say it to her, a lot of the time she just looks at you then either turn her head or just barely nod her head towards you.  Last week she was pretty much ignoring people's greetings and my, and it got to the point I got upset and sent her to her room and when I went to talk to her, she told me that she prefers it that way and when I said that was mean, out comes yep I am mean and so forth.  She resorts to "yep I am mean", "I don't care", "I prefer" and shut down.  I have learned that you can't talk or reason with her when that starts.   She has learned to say sorry.  So 11 months is nothing compare to 13 years.  To see how much she has learned in 11 months, I can't wait to see what the next 11 months will bring on.  I thank the Lord every night for my girls, I thank the Lord for holding my hand as I meet the challenges of motherhood everyday.  I thank the Lord for the smiles and hugs, and love I get from each of the girls that give me peace and calmness inside of me, even when I being driven crazy by them.