a little bit of loving

While I was gone picking up Katie and Jenny at girl scouts and bringing Katie to gymnastic, Monika stayed home with Erin.  She had called me right after we got to gymnastic and was able to talk to Jenny but not Katie.  She also tried getting a hold of big sister Jade, but she didn't answer her cell phone.  I was gone about 45 minutes.  When I got home, I found Monika and Erin in the living room being very adorable.  Don't have a picture as Erin wouldn't let me take it.  Monika had reindeer ears on and a painted red nose, she was kneeling on her hands and knees, Erin had a santa hat on and was standing behind Monika and pretending to the her reindeer going, it was so cute and adorable they were laughing hard.

I then walked to my bedroom to get something and noticed an envelope on my door with my name on it.  This is what I discovered in it.  What a great little gift that Monika made up and created with two of her sisters, she included Jade and Katie eventhough she couldn't talk to them. 

The green one is the one that Erin did.  It says "I so so like mom", Erin was standing next to me when I read it and I look at her somewhat serious but also a little joking and said just "so so" and she said yes.  I try to think positive and not be discouraged by it, to look at the positive in it.  Erin is still learning about emotions and the depth of emotions.  She still doesn't understand why I along with her siblings cry in sad movies or why I would be concern about someone whether it is her, family member or friends.  If one of the other girls said they only like me "so so",(when they aren't mad at me) it would really upset me and make me feel sad, but with Erin I can't do the same, that is what my brain tells me, my heart tells me otherwise.  It has been over 5 hours and I still feel like I am sad with Erin's comment, eventhough I continue to say the positive thing that she actually told Monika that when she asked.  With so many things that Erin and I do and say and the way she and I connect now, I would have thought I would have gotten more then just a so so from her.  This I know is just another baby step for Erin expressing her emotions towards me, a year ago she was saying she hated me, so I guess I moved up the ladder and hopefully next year at this time, she will like or really like me, I know I can't expect "love" as she has a long ways to go with that.    Thank you Jesus for giving me such wonderful thoughtful children who can be creative and know how to make a day get better.