Can we skip 100 steps......

This is going to be all about Erin.

On one of the yahoo group there is a lot of talk about teen adoption.  The good, bads and everything in between.  There is a family that is traveling soon to adopt a boy that is aging out.  She asked for some insight in what to expect.  I recalled doing this about this time two years ago.  When I inquired, most people just gave me very vague advice or info in what I can expect.  I wasn't satsify, so I asked more specific questions in relation to sexuality, authority, what I should watch for, how do I handle it if she was mean to her sisters and so forth.  I then got a couple of people that email me privately and really opened up to me. They said when they try to seek out advice on their child challenges on some of the groups, they were met with a lot of negativity causing them not wanting to post about what they were going to tell me.  These people were so helpful  and a lot of their advice is what helped me through Erin's very challenging moments.  It is amazing how two years things have changed.  When this person asked, the one yahoo group was wonderful and was openly honest as I was too.  I am a firm believer that the more honest your are in telling people about the upcoming adoption, prepares you better.  You prepare for the worse and hope for the best.  It is also easier said then done and when you are walking in that very challenging time, it will feel like you might not make it, that you want to throw in the towel.  There was also a lot of talk about the disruptions that happen.  It really saddens me when that happens.  I do know families that have disrupted and I not judging those families because I haven't walked in their shoes.  If I didn't have the advice and support when in the challenging time with Erin, I am not sure what I would have done.  I am so thankful that I relied on God for guidance, seeked out help from everyone

Last weekend, Erin along with 6 classmates, 2 coaches and a couple other "fans" adults went to RIT (Rochester Institue of Technology) in New York for a math tournment.  When Erin first heard about this last fall, she was very excited to go.  I think it was more because it was a trip and she has dreams about living in New York.  After her school did all the testing on her in Jan, and she had a better understanding that she not at an 8th grade math, that she was a few years behind and they started practicing for the math tournment, she started to get nervous, not wanting to go because she was going to let her team down, she feels she not smart enough, and even said she was going to miss home, we kept being positive with her and I told her that the coaches wanted her to go, and we would be proud of her no matter what as long as she tried her hardest.   She had a great time in NY.  Saturday afternoon, there was unofficial team competition which I am not sure what that means, but she and her coaches explained to me that her school had a team of 3 and a team of 4.  The team of 3 was split up with other kids from different schools. The team that Erin was on won  Championship.  Then this week she struggled with were she is act in school and not understanding why she isn't "smart" like her sisters.  Basically it is they can read and understand English better then her, it didn't matter I said, she wasn't going to believe me and she wanted to throw the towel in and then needed to be defientant and do some childish behavior and continue to challenge me.  I did find out it was a full moon that night, so that could be part of it.  It is hard when she acts like this, I know some of it just her being a teenager, but other parts or it is fustration, that she can't get it all in one shot, that it takes time and practice to learn our language and understand it.  This happens Wednesday night,  Thursday night she is better (still a little crabby, but a lot better), she ask me if she can get together with a 6th grader this summer and help her learn signing.  This 6th grader is profoundly deaf and was mainstreamed until 5th grade before joining Erin's school.  I thought that was pretty cool, then today we had a playgroup with a group of friends that have adopted children from China.  The 6th grader is an adoptee from Korea, she brought a friend over that is also adopted from Korea that is hard of hearing and is wanting to learn sign language.  It was interesting watching the 3 of them.  Erin didn't know what to do with them, they didn't know what to do.  I had to encourage them to do some things together, eventually they were talking with some help from me.  It was decided that the 3 of them are going to get together this summer and Erin is going to help them.  This will be good for all of them. 
About this time last year, Erin stop going to her dad's on the weekend he had the kids.  It was felt that it was harming any relationship between her dad and her if she continue to go to his house with the way she feels.  As I have written in some of the recent post, she has been slowly coming around these last 3 months with her dad.  She tonight asked when I was dropping her sisters off at his house, if she could stay too.  I asked if she was sure and so forth, she said ya, she wanted to hang out with all 4 of her sisters (big sister Jade home for the weekend), and her cousin.  What a huge step, I am really proud of her and thankful that is is learning more and more about family and what family means.  Praise the Lord.

Erin playing around with her cousin's purse and hat.