Homework or not?

My younger 3 girls go to year around school, so they are still in school.   They have homework every night.  Jenny and Katie usually can get it done 1/2 hour to 45 minutes, Monika takes an hour or more and when Erin was in the last month or so of school, I was working with her for an hour or two.  Some of the nights got long for me as I wouldn't be finished with homework until close to 11 at night and then having to be up at 5 to go to work.  As much as I enjoy teaching my children new things, it also took a lot of time away doing family things as some of the things I had to do one on one.  In Sunday's paper there was an article about some of the schools changing the homework policy.  Some were saying they didn't feel it really benefit the kids others were saying it is a battle to get their child to do homework so the parent and child were battle all evening about homework.  Others were saying no homework on the weekends or holidays, while others said that is the only time they can really help their child with homework.  It was really interesting reading that article as I understand both sides of the argument and agree with parts of both arguments.  At the same time I was just finishing up reading this book:

 

This book got a lot of media attention.  Jade had brought it and read it before she left to go to China and gave it to me to read.  The mother of the two girls spoke about the Chinese Parent and the Western Parent.  She identify these two as parenting ways and not all of "Chinese Parents" were Chinese as not all "Western Parents" were Americans.  My own feeling about this book is she was way to strict at the same time, she has some very strong points that I agree with her.  Some of the ways she view things about the Western parent is me all the way.  She spoke about the name calling she did, the hurtful (I say they are hurtful not the author) statements she said and about the children obeying.  She talked about her children can't get less then a "A" on anything, they can't have playdate,etc and they can always improve.  They had to practice the volion and piano everyday even when they were on trips.  One night I had just finished reading about one of the big battles she had with her younger daughter and there was a lot of name calling and demeaning statements said.  The next morning, I asked Monika to work on her homework as the night before she didn't do it (gymnastics and she was wanting some family time and I told her that was fine, but then homework in the morning which she agreed to).  She right away started whining and saying it was to hard (she didn't even have it out of her backpack).  I looked at her and said "you are lazy" she said it is to hard in her whining voice, I said how do you know when you are not even working on it, I said you are lazy Monika, she looked at me and got tears in her eyes and said mom that is a mean thing to say to mean, you hurting my feelings.  I looked at her and said I want you to get your homework out, sit down and do it, work on it for 10 minutes without distractions, if you still can't get it figure out, then I will help you.  She just looked at me not sure what to think about me calling her lazy (as we dont' name call in the house and I don't degrade them).  She grab her homework and quietly with her head down went to the table.  She did it and in a half an hour she was just about done.  She asked once for my help and I could tell she really tried to do that problem.  When she was done, I said good job and hugs...  This past Tuesday, I was talking to the prinicpal at the girls school and asked her about the article and what she thought about it.  She also had some mix reactions to it and her and I agreed with some of what was said about having homework and not having homework and the time limit on it.  I do feel that the kids should have homework,, I also feel it should be based on each child as some children are more advance then others and some need more help then others.  But I believe if it is going to be a battle every night that isn't always good either.  Reading the book, I felt like I am a "softie" with my kids a lot, I do have certain expectations with them with homework/school work, but I am not strict with them either, the author did give some good points and I think I am going to try to use some of them on a tone down scale.  This summer, I have good intentions (I haven't done that well yet) with Erin, to keep working with her and improve her ASL, English,  she is asking more about what words are (on the close caption or when we are out and about).  I have decided to have a private tutor 2 times a week work with her.  This was Erin's 1:1 during the school and they are very close to one another.  I am hoping between her and myself along with going to summer school, she will get a lot of exposure to English and how we write and things.  I found out on Erin's last day of school that there has been some cuts in the budget at the school which means her 1:1 that she adores got laid off.  I have written an email to the school asking them to reconsider for Erin sake.  Erin really connected well with her 1:1 and feels very good with her.  I pray it will all work out.