Understanding relationships

What does it mean to be a friend with someone?

What does it mean when you are hugging someone you haven't seen in a long time?

What does it mean when saying goodbye and giving that person a bear hug because you don't when you will see them again.

What does it mean to show someone support, empathy, love, etc.

In our household we have been talking a lot about what we do for others and why we do it.  Most of the talks are with Erin, but we have been also using this as examples for the younger girls too.

Over the 4th of July weekend, when I wrote about seeing Dave's cousins, the cousins and I gave a lot of hugs, it has been almost two years since we last saw them, they are a great bunch of cousins.  When Erin and I had our big talk on 4th of July about the way she was acting and expressing herself, she did asked me "why were you drooling all over dad's cousins"  when asked to explain, she informed me that the way we were hugging one another, we were drooling over each other.  When explaining to her, no it isn't drooling, she wasn't understanding it.

This past Sunday when we were finished camping, Dave came up and help haul the bikes and canopy home, Erin had the body language and expression of dislikes going.  I told her that I wanted her to stop doing that to my friend.  As we talked I asked her what she would do if I was being mean to a friend of hers, she basically told me if I decided to be mean, I am can be.  After trying to explain empathy to her, and trying to get her to understand some of what you do for friends, I realized that Erin probably learned in the orphanage to turn the other cheek if someone is hurting someone else, that she has to detach herself.  She has a lot of friends and has a lot of fun with them, she talks about people being mean to others and will say that it isn't right, but she doesn't understand when she does it to others.  I know she cares about her friends as she has told me about them and if one is sick or something happen to me, through her signs and gestures you can see she cares.  She still has those survival instincts of making sure she is protecting herself and that she doesn't allow someone to hurt her that way.  I think she is also afraid if she does try to protect someone else, she might get hurt by the person that doing the inflicting on that person.  I continue to pray for her to learn how wonderful relationship can be and the deep meaning for them.  I am also learning that her emotions expressions are limited.  When I dropped her off at the dorm, she was acting nervous vs scared but told me she was scared, when I tried to explain nervous to her, she agreed with me...I am curious to find out after next week how it felt to be in a "dorm" life again as she lived at her school dorm most of the time and that is where some of the bad things that she has witness and had done to her happen.  Right now she is southwest part of Iowa at a Christian deaf bible camp.  She didn't know it was a Christian bible camp.  I just told her it was a deaf camp.  I didn't tell her because she is usually pretty quick in making up her mind that she isn't gonna like something that is new that doesn't sound like fun.  I am praying that this will help her learn our great our Savior is and also learn more about healthy relationships and that loving affection doesn't always mean sexual.  She went with her friend Katherine, so she will know at least one person.  Can't wait to pick her up on Sunday to hear about it.  I am missing her a lot as this is the longest we have been apart.