Looking for Guideance

Like all my daughters, Erin is precious.  I really hope she knows that.  We tell her all the time we Love her, we show it to her too.  We hope she will soon understand how much we love her.
Tonight we had difficult night, nothing like the first difficult night, but on a different level and feeling a little lost in how to process this.

We had school conferences and she is doing awesome, all her teachers were amazed on how well she was doing, there was a lot of praise from Dave and I along with the teachers.  For the last couple of days she has been having a attitude and we have been asking her if something was wrong and she would say no and a little bit later would be doing good.  Tonight after conferences we went out to eat, she really was acting up and just not being nice, so Dave took her out into the van, she of course got really mad at him/us.  When we got home, I tried talking with her, she started saying she didn't want to be part of this family anymore, she wants a new mom and dad, sisters....she wants to go to a friends house and sleep there instead of here, she wants a deaf mom,dad, sisters....and so forth.  I remained calm with her and tried to get her to tell me what was wrong, she really had an attitude going with me, then proceeded to say she didn't want hearing aides (In China and when we got home she kept asking about getting hearing aides, and then when she got them which she has had for almost a month, she has liked them, but the last week she has not been wearing them much anymore and she is saying because her ear is sore) , she wants to be deaf and so forth.  She was even saying she wanted to be dead, which I said I don't want her to be dead because she is my daughter and I love her and would be sad if she were to die.  When I left her alone for a little bit, she proceeded to take a framed college that I had made her and started to scribble out herself in the pictures (I took the picture away from her calmly and told her that I didn't want her to ruin the picture, I also removed a poster off the wall that she brought from China, because I was afraid she might do something to that too and don't think we can replace that).  She then took all the pictures she had in her room that had her in it with the family and ripped/cut them all up (I wasn't in the room with her at that time).  I didn't say anything to her about it.  I went thru all the "I love you" you are my/our daughter""we are your parents". "your home is here in American......" She also was making it difficult as she didn't want to look at me when signing. I told her again, I love you and good night, and Dave also said the same thing, she said I don't like it, we left her alone.  About 5 minutes later, she went to use the bathroom, came out and found me and brought me to the bathroom.  She started to asked me about all the little bottles of lotions that were sitting in the caddy above the toilet, I told her their were Monika, Katie's and Jenny's.  She then open the medicane cabinet and asked who toothbrushes were who's.  She doesn't keep her toiletaries in the bathroom, she keeps them in the little black case we had given her in China and she takes this case back and forth to her room.  I asked her again (I had asked her before when she first came home) if she wanted to put her belongings in the bathroom and she said no.  She went back into her room.  When the younger girls were ready to go to bed, I had them say good night to her, which they did.  I know she is looking for a reaction and I try hard not to give it to her, She was doing a lot of "x" in front of my face and saying there is a wall in between us and I can't see her. After she went to sleep and I got the making all of the frame of the college, I put it back in her room, along with her poster(she got the poster before she went to bed). Dave and I are wondering if she was upset that we went to school for teacher conferences...if she thinks she was "bad" or something, eventhough all the teachers were saying to her and us that she is doing wonderful (she has all "a's" or high "B's") and we were also telling her great job and I did reinforced that tonight.  We are also talking about perhaps a pyschologist for her, maybe she is got a lot more grieving going on (more so then what expected).  I know that the Lord is with me, I posted on a couple of yahoo groups (one is a china deaf one and another one is post adoptioin group) for some guideance.  I pray that she will be in a better mood tomorrow as all of us are home and we were going to go to MOA for all day to ride on the rides unlimited, but have already decided if she is still acting the way she was tonight, we will put that on hold and take the younger girls next week since they are off school next week. Please say a prayer for Erin, I know the Lord is with her, but she is struggling.