An interesting Article

A good friend (thank you Meryl), sent me this article: An interesting article about older children adpotion   Some of the things the women wrote about is similiar in our situation.  Come Feb. 5 We will have Erin in our family for 5 months.  There has been times (during the two big meltdowns) when I have question if we would be able to parent Erin like we do with the other 4 girls, could I love her like I love the other 4 girls or would I just end up tolerating her and showing her what is love but not really truly loving her and figure when she is 18 years old she would move on in life.  Her and Dave's relationship is so similar to Anna and her dad's.  They had made babysteps in some way towards a hopeful positive relationship.  These last two weeks my feelings have very slowly been changing around Erin, She is becoming more open with me, talking to me just to talk vs talking to me because she needs or wants something.  She is getting better about the 3 R's (see previous post).  Everyone tells me, give it time, it could take 6 months to a year or not more for her to bond, she just pushing you, she doesn't know how to love, she has survival skills, etc.  Yes I know all that, yes I did my reading and research, and Yes I made some mistakes in these 5 months with her, but when you are living in it and being constantly told by her that she hates you, that she doesn't like you, that she wants a new mom and dad, etc, it does get hard especially when you have other children that can't begin to understand why their older sister "hates them, their mom and dad".  But with Jesus, God, family, friends (personal and cyber), I have stuck it out and no I never thought of disrupting the adoption because I could see Erin had a very sweet loving side in her.  She showed it to others, I just had to have faith and hope that she would show it to me, Dave and her sisters.  She now is showing it to me, and as she is starting to bond with me, hopefully I can help her learn that her dad is a great guy.  She is doing a lot better with her sisters too.  Reading this article struck home at many different levels. It helps to read about people experiences and the outcome whether it is good or bad.