I think I think I think I.....

BONDED

I have been meaning to blog a couple of times since my last posting last Friday.  So many little things have happen that are huge events.

1.  Erin went to Dave's house last Friday without any issues.  She still doesn't given him much time, but she at least didn't complain.  And she packed the Chinese/English bible that Jade gave her for Christmas

2.  Sunday night there was a roller skating party for deaf and hard of hearing families.  We all went.  She had fun hanging out with her friends and she made a couple new friends for the night and she didn't "ignore" me or her sisters and she was nice to us.

3.  Monday she had a basketball game, she didn't get any baskets, but she was playing hard and smiling some of the time during the game and even smiled at me when she saw me at first.  That is huge as she usually doesn't acknowledge me first and when she does, usually it is with a nod of the head.

4.  After the game, she wasn't in a hurry to leave,  she usually grabs her stuff, comes over by me and then keeps on walking to the car.  She hung around for a little bit and was patient waiting for me to finish talking to another family.  She played with her sisters and friends.  At one point she got irritated with Katie and told Katie to stop very firmly and her friend "E" said be nice to your sister, she is just playing.  I couldn't thank "E" enough for saying that.  Erin, smiled and said sorry to Katie.

5.  We had to pick Monika up from her grandma's after the game, we were driving by our church and Erin asked me if that is where Jesus is.  Erin hasn't gone to church yet because we have been looking for a church (which I think we have found) that has some deaf teens that go there and have some sort of support group because Erin was raised in China not to like Jesus and hasn't had no interest in it.  So she has stayed home while we have gone to Church.  She see us praying to Jesus and so forth, but doesn't participate.

6.  When we got home Monday, Erin fixed supper on her own for all of us, and even cleaned it up and made sure her sister helped.

7.  Tuesday night she had a big project due at school.  We worked on it together side by side on the couch.  She learned into me a couple of times when we were looking at something on the computer and she even sat close enough that our legs touched at times.  For a child that doesn't want us touching her at all other then tapping her on the shoulder to get her attention and she always made sure there was space between her and I.

8.  Tuesday night I also started allowances with the 4 girls.  I told them that half the allowence each week goes in the bank, some goes to church and the rest you get to keep.  I explained that they needed to continue doing what they do around the house (the younger three are great helpers, Erin is learning), be respectful of each other and their things, make their bed everyday (the younger three always do), etc.  I told them these rules pretain to whereever they are and stressed that to them.  I am hoping that will help with Dave and Erin's relationship, I explained if they didn't follow rules, I can make the decision about not giving some of all of their allowance to them.  Erin was pretty excited about getting some money and was ok with giving me some of the money for the bank.

9.  Erin finished her first quarter at school and got a 5 dollar bonus.  We give our girls that after each quarter if they do well.  Erin was so excited and smiled.  I explained how the other girls get it and told her what a great job she did in school, she was smiling and beaming.  She doesn't take praise very well, if you praise her she usually shrugs her shoulders or look away like she doesn't care or like it.

10.  Wednesday morning she went to school without her bed made.  I was a little disappointed, but figure that I would let it go this time and see what happens on Thursday, if she didn't make her bed, I would talk to her and make sure she understood.  She gets home from school, acknowledges me and goes to her room and shuts the door.  About a 1/2 hour later she comes out and calls me to her room and ask me if she did a good job.  Her bed was made and her room was clean.  I said great job, gave a big smile, and held out my hand to high 5 here, she smiled and gave me a high 5.

11.  I had brought the Beverly Hills Chicuqua (dog) 2 movie.  When I showed it to her she jumped up and down in excitement and said I want to watch it, I explained to her that we would watch it after her sisters got home from Faith Formation.  She repeatly said thank you.  I also found some black boots that have some heels to it on clearance for 3 dollars and showed them to her and explained that if she wants them, she can have them.  At first she didn't seemed to excited by them because the heels were big and not narrow.  Monika has the same kind and went and put them on.  Erin then put her on and started to model them, went in her room for about 15 minutes, came back out with them still on, and kept them on until bedtime.  She then went to Katie and told Katie when she was done wearing them, she will pass them to her. 

12.  My sister, neice and a friend stopped over, Erin was talking with me, poked me in the stomach, so I poked her back and put my fist up like I was ready to box with her, she laughed and did the same thing and we pretend to spare for about 30 seconds and then she stopped, the whole time with a smile on her face.

13.  My neice stayed and the younger girls and I ate while Erin and Cassie visit, I left to take the girls to Faith formation and had not cleaned up supper yet, when I got home, Erin had cleaned up supper and everything.  When I thanked her, she said you are welcome (another huge step).

14.  The picture below, I had my hair in two plain ponies.  Erin came over, grab my bottom ponie and did that, and said that looks good.

 So what you think?  I am thinking she has bonded, eventhough she isn't allowing hugs from me or Dave, she is allowing them from her sisters, she is allowing me to touch her, she is touching me affectionately, she is smiling a lot, when she isn't in a good mood (typical teenager), she just gets quiet and doesn't want to talk which I am learning to let her have her space and not take it personally.  She is seeking out approval and reacting positive when she is given it. She talks to me about life in general now and showing a lot of different emotions.  I know we have a long ways to go, but I truly feel we are doing so well.

Today is the start of the new year for China.  I am excited to see what this new year has to bring for us.