Dave and Erin

This picture was taken two days after Erin joined our family.  She was alway smiling for pictures.  Something she refuses most of the time now, because she feels she is ugly and so forth.  This is the one and only picture of Erin and Dave alone in a picture and will probably be a very long time if ever before there is another picture like this.

We have known since the day after Erin joined our family that it was going to be a long process with Dave and Erin.  We knew with everything she told us in China, that she has a lot of issues with males.  Since coming home we continue to hear about the males in China, and how she doesn't like any males.  She now to the point will she tolerates some of the adult males and she likes a couple of her male classmates because they are fun.  She really dislikes Dave, doesn't want nothing to do with him, won't acknowledge him, won't be near him, etc.  Eventhough she hasn't gone into specific details in what all happen with her and the males in China, from her generalized talking, I have been able to learn a lot about her life in the orphanage and boarding school.
This has been so hard on all of us in the family, to see Erin being the way she is with Dave.  She has such a block in her head that she can't break.  That block is she can't or will not have anything to do with Dave, that she can't/will not trust him at all, that he somehow reminds her about the males in China and what they do/did.  She can talk to me casually about Dave, and I can mention him casually without her getting upset, but that is about the farthest it goes.  Dave has done amazing well with this situation throughout the whole time, especially the last couple of months.  He hurts inside so much, and yet he keeps trying to work with her, me, therapist to try to show to her he won't hurt her, that he just want to talk with her to do something with her.  Have those 5 minute moments like we did on her birthday at the restaurant.  I pray for more of those moments.
I know that this is in God's hands, I know that there are reasons for the way things are, that I need to continue to trust God, to believe that things will happen if they are meant to.  I pray every night that Erin will learn to feel safe, especially with Dave, that she will see that she can love and accept love.