Rules, Rules and more Rules

Since Friday, Erin has done pretty good, you will she a flick of irritation or angry in her when we tell her something she doesn't want to hear or have her do something she doesn't want to.  We had our annual Christmas party on Sunday, it was a small one as many people still couldn't get out of their driveways or streets.  My sister made her a beautiful quilt and explained to Erin that she made each of the girls one when they were adopted and they are all similar.  Erin wasn't sure if she liked it or not.  Cindy had Erin bring her back into her room, which means Cindy got to see the writing on the wall.  She questioned Erin about it, Erin told her she did that when she was mad at me.  She then told Cindy that I told her (Erin) that she was acting like a little kid and not a 13 year old.  My sister informed her that she is when she does things like that.  Cindy went on explaining that Cassie is 18 year olds and still has rules and still gets corrected or gets consquences.  Erin got quiet about it after that.  Cindy asked her if she was going to wash the writing off, and Erin told her she didn't like the writing on the wall.  We did the gift exchange game at the party.  Erin had seen me wrapping an MP3 player up for one of the gifts, she told me she wanted one, I asked her why because she has said she doesn't want to hear, she shrugged her shoulders and said because it is cool.  I then asked her if she wanted to hear again and she said nope, I am deaf.  I am guess she wanted it for "coolness".  So during the gift exchange, she didn't care for what she got and she made it known.  I am planning to sit her down next week before Christmas and explained to her, that she just accept things even if she doesn't like it.  One of the things that came out this weekend again was the rules and not liking them.  She went on to explained in China, she had no rules ( I have a hard time believing that, but do feel because she was at 3 different places all the time, that she probably got away with a lot more then if she had just lived at the orphanage). She went on to say that her school doesn't have any rules either,when she told my sister that, my sister told her that the teachers couldn't displine and parents can.  On Monday the girls all had a snow day from school.  Dave was home with them while I worked.  I had told Erin Sunday night about it, so when she got up, Dave teased her and told her she had to stay in her room because she stayed home from school, she looked at him funny and then said no, Dave laughed at her and informed her he was teasing.  I wrote an email to her contact teacher and explained to her that Erin feels there are no  rules at school and that we feel that is some of the problems here at home because she feels we are the only ones that enforce rules.  Her teacher emailed me back and said they would make sure to point out "rule" when the occassion rised.  About an hour or so later,  I get another email stating that Erin wasn't wanting to do her work in class so she explained the "rule" that if you have 3 incidents of not doing work in class you get detention.  I thought that was perfect timing.  I am hoping that Erin will slowly realize that there are rules everywhere and that it not just in this house.  Tuesday night I took Erin out shopping for her basketball shoes that we were suppose to do last Thursday, when we were in the van, she got out went into the house and came back out.  Dave calls me right away and tells me to send Erin back in the house because she didn't close the door.  I tell this to Erin and she starts to get mad, I said to her, if you get mad, then we are not going shopping, it is your decision, I then explained last person in or out shuts the door.  She went and shut the door and came back into the van pouting, I again said to her, if you are going to be mad we are not going, she didn't say anything but she changed her expression.  We got her shoes and a gym bag she wanted.  We then venture over to Target.  Katie was looking to buy something (with her own money) in the dollar place, Erin came up to me with some lip gloss and asked nicely for it, I said that was fine, but that was all I was buying.  Katie and Jenny found their things and I got Monika something.  We went over to the toy section for Jenny to buy her friend a birthday present.  Erin found one of those "Fur Real" dog and wanted it, I told her "no" and she kept asking saying she really wants it, meanwhile Katie isn't to far from her asking for things, I tell her "no" too and told Erin everyone wants things including me but you dn't always get it.  I then said lets go, she wouldn't move for about 30 seconds and finally did.  She helped me load and unload the van.  She has been helping a little bit more around the house.  She asked last night for her door back, I told her once she washes the writing off the wall, she didn't say anything and walked away.  She continues to ask for the camera for Christmas.  Right now that is a day by day thing.

Here is my neice with Ethan.  This was taken on Saturday, they haven't posted any more pictures.  He is still in the hospital as he been having some trouble breathing on and off.  He is now 8 days old.  I am hoping he will be able to go home today.  Thank you again for all the prayers.