Taking a deep breath

Erin dressing up Katie face, they had so much fun playing together

Erin Chinese/English bible from Jade

Monika bathrobe

Jenny boots from Jade

 The big present...the younger girls got MP3 players and Erin got a Camera

Katie opening her presents

This afternoon we celebrated Christmas, Just the 7 of us.  I have to work 16 hours on Christmas Eve and then Christmas day we are heading up to my parents place. 

Backing up to Wednesday night.  Erin has been doing really good, seeing more smiles, she even cooked lunch for us (and even woke Dave up on Tuesday and asked him if he wanted lunch which was the first time ever).  I was wrapping presents and she asked what I was doing, so I explained it to her, she asked if she could help and I said yes, so she wrapped about 10 presents.  I had the girls presents to give to Dave and my dad, I asked her to pick one of the 4 presents for "dad", she said you pick it, I said no, you pick it and your sisters will pick one (the younger ones were not home).  She finally picked a present for Dave and my dad wrapped them and wrote on the note tag, I casually explained that most of these gifts were from Dad and I, and some were from Jade.  During supper I told all the girls (I was signing) that they were going shopping after supper to buy my gifts, at first Erin said she didn't want to go with, so I explained again to her and made sure she understood that her sisters were all going too.  So they went, she wasn't happy camper and wouldn't pick out a present for me, so Dave picked one out for her.  They got home, the other 4 girls got busy and wrapped my presents.  Dave tried to give Erin her present to me, Erin said nope she wasnt' going to give it to me, that Dave brought it.  So Dave said fine.  Jade wasn't to happy with Erin, so she got on her laptop and IM Erin in Chinese, tried to explain about Christmas (not about Jesus since Erin doesn't like him...another posting after Christmas), gift giving and so forth and asked why Erin she was mad at Dad and I, Erin wouldn't tell Jade why (some could be because Erin has very limited pinyin abilities).  So before we open gifts, I explained to Erin again about gifts and I said that we tried our hardest to buy things that we thought she would like, but that if she doesn't like it, she can't make a big scene like she usually does when she doesn't like something.  She said ok.  The picture above with the bible, Erin told Jade thank you, she looked at it for a few seconds, her expressions tells it all though.  All of us except Erin was happy with everything we got.  The only thing Erin was really happy about was the camera that she got as a last present.  Some of the other presents, she smiled a little bit.  She said thank you for all the stuff she got.  I was hoping she would be more happier as her sisters were all very excited and Dave and I were too.   During the gift opening Katie informs us that Erin had asked her earlier today if she like mom and dad, Katie said yes, and Erin said I don't like mom and dad.  This normally hasn't bothered me, but today it got to me, prehaps because Erin has been more involved with helping out in the kitchen and meals, and this afternoon before opening gifts she played UNO stacked, which surprised us all since she never had interest in it before.  She is not giving Dave as many dirty looks, many babysteps forward, so hearing that bother me.  I know she is adjusting still, but after 3 months, I would think she would stop saying that and asking her sisters.  Once gift opening was done, She gave Jade a big hug, but no one else. Erin also told Jade that she doesn't want to learn English from us (including Jade), but at school only, I am not sure why that is, I doesn't make sense to me, but I have learned with Erin, a lot of things don't make sense and you just have to go with the flow. 
Erin playing UNO stacked.

I continue to be grateful for all the little babysteps we make, It is amazing how one step backwards,  has such a huge impact on you and makes you forget even momentary all the positive steps forward.  I have to take a deep breath and live the moment and not dwell much on the not so positive things.  I did tell Erin tonight that it made me said that she still says she doesn't like us and that she telling everyone that, she just looked at me and then looked away back onto the computer.  She didn't roll her eyes or give me a dirty look when I told her that, so I take it that is a babystep too....